Dealing With a No Percenter

January always begins with good intentions and a list of resolutions– go to the gym, lose ten pounds, become a world class ninja star thrower, finish 98 percent complete home projects.

Everyone creates a list, don’t even try to deny it.

Well, we’ve been kicking our resolutions buttocks.  Sure, it’s been because our weekends are full of snow and we are trapped in the house, but I don’t care.  Projects that have been sitting 98 percent finished are reaching 100 percent completion.

Take for instance these beautiful outdoor lights . . . purchased in July (at Home Depot for $35 each) for our enclosed porch.  We can’t even classify this project as a two percenter, it’s more like a no percenter.  We bought them with grand intentions of installation and then they just sat in our garage taking up valuable floor space . . . next to another light we had grand plans to install.

installing patio lights

Side note: As you can tell, we get lazy.  It’s mostly me rubbing off on Greg.  Maybe it’s Hazel rubbing off on him too because she’s pretty lazy.  Just look at her, we haven’t even started and she’s sleeping on the job.

installing patio lights

We loved them because they mimicked the look of our ceiling fan light and were reasonably priced.  Although anything would be better than the original lights.

patio lights-5

We bundled ourselves up and headed into the refrigerator this is our enclosed porch.  Now on to changing a light fixture-

1. Remove the old light fixture, carefully noting which wires went where.

installing patio lights

2. Pray they installed an electrical box.

3. Cheer when you see they did.

4. Read the installation instructions.

install patio lights

5. Have wife mock you for reading them since this is about your sixth light installation.

6. Install the bracket.

7. IMPORTANT STEP– Level the bracket.  Unlike ceiling lights, a wall light is noticeable if it is not level.

installing patio lights

8.  Make wife hold light fixture while you match ground wire (the copper ones), then twist black wires together and cap, repeat with the white wires.

9. Wrap electrical tape around the wires and caps.

10. Bolt the light fixture on.

11. Behold the greatness of the new light.

installing patio lights

The similar cage shape and seeded globe tie all three light fixtures together wonderfully.  The small upgrade refreshes the room and makes it feel a bit more upscale.  For about $75 and an hour of our time, we gave our enclosed porch’s light a new life while kicking our resolution’s butt.  Now we just need to scrub the walls.

installing patio lights


Home ownership, the project list never ends.


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